Playing Mommy...

Well, this weekend I was a babysitter for two kids up north. The kids were very good for me with some exceptions, however, it just makes me realize that I don't want kids for a LONG LONG time! I picked Cameron up on Friday afternoon, we went home and watched Shrek 2 in there "theater room" (yeah, it is a freakin theater room!), then Kelsy came home at around 4. I got them ready and took them to a 50's Soc hop that was at thier elementary school. It was a fun night for all of us. Saturday came, I got very little sleep since I had two major projects due on monday that made or broke my grades. Anyway, I took Kelsy to her volleyball game, after wards, we went back home and she changed, then I took them to a little 50's diner that my good friend Amy and I always like to go to. They really enjoyed it! I took Cameron to his soccer game afterwards. then off to pottery and to the movies. It was still a good day, however it amazes me how much Kelsy talks! I don't even thinks she takes a breath in between her words! I also thinks the talks in her sleep...that was just driving me up the wall. She was kinda sassy as well, and I didn't appreciate her trying to test me. I'm not the type of person who will back down, especially to a 9 year old child. I do not tolerate such behavior, nor do I tolerate spoiled-ness (is that a word?) Anyway, Sunday came, and I know we were all ready for me to go home. Poor Kelsy got sick in the morning, but I know that it wasn't the flu...most likely she was just overly excited, and also missing her parents. 9:15 came, and thier parents finally showed up. It was such a long weekend, and I was looking forward to being home. I felt like I was gone for a month! Also, my cell phone didn't work out there, so I couldn't talk to any of my friends. Oh well. In the end, it was an experience, to say the least.

God is so awesome

So, I know that most of my posts have been down, but I do have to say that this one is quite happy. All I really want to say is that God is truly faithful. I know that I've said before that I am a Christian. I have been since I was a little girl. Well, I grew up in a Christian household, and I was baptized when I was 14. Ever since then, God has been blessing my life so immensely!!! and talk about love!!! there is no complete love like Christ's love. So, to all of you out there, Christ's love is amazing, and I think you all would just be amazed. Praise Jesus Christ forever and always, I will love you oh Lord!!

"Heavenly Father, I pray for the ones who are reading this at the moment, that they may find this message encouraging, that they may find Your love, that they may find Your blessings, and how faithful You are!! I pray they recieve You in thier heart, and know what true love really is. I praise you Heavenly Father... I love you Lord. Thank you for Your Grace and Mercy....in Jesus' Name I pray, Amen"

Truly Crazy

So, yesterday, April 9th...it was one of my kitty's birthday. YEAH! She turned 11. I also have another kitty, and she is 12, about to be 13 in July 4th. She had been acting very tired, and just not herself lately. We noticed that she hadn't been drinking water or even eating in a few days, and she had gotten so thin. We decided to take her to the vet, and as we horribly expected, her kidneys were failing. This was quite upsetting for me, she is my little girl, I recieved her for my 10th birthday, and had her for so long, we sorta grew up together. So, we said our good-byes, and then we euthanized her. She went very peacefully...although I was a basket-case afterwards. It was not just the fact that I've had her for so long, and she now it gone, but it also brought back every emotion from losing my father 2 years ago. Watching her die, was like watching him die. Yes, I do realize that you can't compare a human life to an animal, but in this instance you can. See, my father had Chronic-Progressive Multiple Schlerosis, he was bed-ridden for 7 years, and the day that he died, I found him in his bed. So, I really haven't gotten over it yet, and I really am trying to, so seeing her die, just shot me right back to that day. Oh yeah, just a side note, I know the last two posts have been quite depressing...I really don't have a depressing life, I'm always VERY happy, and it is best to be upbeat about things than constantly sad and depressed. I believe that God will only give you what you can handle, so I know that if I go through something, God is just making me stronger. I do appreciate it. Anyway, this just helps if I get my feelings out. So, thanks for those of you who read it, thanks for listening.

What a day...

Well, this week I had a job, and then I had to quit. You all might be thinking that I'm quite insane, and stupid to have a job for one day and then decide to quit (I agree that it does sound quite wierd, and not the best way to stay on the good side of that employer), however, I do have a good reason. See, I've discovered something pretty amazing about myself. I have been a giver all of my life, and I constantly give to so many others, but when it comes to me, I could care less, just as long as that person is happy, it makes me happy. You don't even know the pain I feel if I think or worse, know that I've disappointed someone. So, not only did I take the job, but I have been doing so many other things to fill my time, I'm wearing myself thin. So, I took on this job, knowing that I would make this employer quite happy. The biggest problem was, they wanted to take up all of my free time, and even the nights I had to be at school! I talked to them about this, yet again, and they seemed quite frustrated with my school schedule. Well, school is always #1 with me, so I knew I had to quit if they weren't going to work with me. But as soon as that thought crossed my mind, all I could think about was how I was going to disappoint this person, and that made me so sad and feel so guilty. How could I even think about leaving this person, they are depending on me, others are depending on me....how selfish it is for me to even think of leaving so I could have time for my homework! That isn't sarcasm, that is what I was really thinking. So then I decided to pray to God about what I should do. Since I am a strong Christian, I firmly beleive that He talks to you and answers you when you ask. Last night I recieved a mid-term back and got a 68 on it. I was pretty devistated, seeing how I studied pretty hard for it too! I took this as my answer from God...that if I actually stayed, I would continually get worse grades, and since I'm shooting for a 4.0 this semester, I can't accept that. When I got home, I was quite upset with this choice...Again, how could I do this to this person...So, I finally talked it over with my mom, and she agreed that I should quit.
I've noticed my whole life that I live for other people...if they are happy, I'm happy. If they are sad, I'm sad. I know now that I have to stop this habit, and I have to start living for me, no matter how hard it is for me to accept that. So, today is the first day for me to live for myself...and I'm sure I'll find the money for school somehow, I have faith that God will take care of me. So, this was my day...yes, quite immature I'm sure you think so, but as my first day of living for myself, I'll say, I don't really care what you think...this is my life, and I'll start living for me...so thanks for listening, all of you out there. This will be an interesting journey, I'll keep you posted on how it goes.